Production Passion Entertainment

What we have here is the first episode of the series Il-Barbuljati ta' Ċensu. This masterpiece is the work of Production Passion Entertainment. We are not making this up, they are actually called Production Passion Entertainment.

Now keep in mind that the first episode of a series is often regarded as the most important of the lot by the makers and producers of the show. The first one is usually the "make-or-break" episode in so far as audience following for the whole series is concerned. If people get hooked on to the story by the first episode, then you've probably gained an audience for the whole season (Lost spent a whopping one million dollars on just the first episode). So, what are Production Passion Entertainment offering us here?

We start off with the opening credits - long shots of what look like random passersby (which, as we later find out to our great misfortune, are the main protagonists of the story) walking down desolate streets. This is all accompanied by a horrible, cheap, MIDI version of Queen's Seaside Rendezvous. If you do make it past the opening credits, you'll be subjected to what is probably the most uneventful and unfunny seven minutes in the history of comedy, starring an Addams family of sorts comprised of an obese kid, a loud and obnoxious mother, and a fat caveman who dresses up like a three-year old child. Yes, it is as horrible as it sounds. This is truly painful to watch.

We challenge anyone to find one second of comedy in this piece of crap.



P.S. We have yet to see uglier bedrooms than the ones witnessed above.

Chasing Pandora (and partners)

From the multi-award winning ace journalists at http://www.di-ve.com/:

Chasing Pandora - Two
(with a fitting commentary by our writers at ħażin.info, in subtle red)

After a year of change, infused with intense creativity (we are assuming the bulk of this creativity was dedicated to the writing of this article) Chasing Pandora are back!

Melissa (Portelli) more beautiful than ever, radiant, exuding the happiness that her daughter Asia Rain (that makes her Asia Rain Portelli) brings her, able to juggle her role as devoted mother and singer song-writer with total ease, and Keith, well just Keith a sensitive, musical genius (other musicians generally referred to as 'genius': Jimi Hendrix, John Coltrane, Beethoven), who has played no less than 7 different instruments (we have substantial reason to believe one of these instruments is Keith's ukulele ...) on these new tracks, again being joined by Eric Wadge on bass and Ismael Azzopardi on keyboards.

On first listen to their new EP ‘Two’ you would be forgiven for double checking the artist, they have developed and grown musically so much!

Melissa’s voice is like an angel, crystal clear, her lyrics so uplifting and filled with light, you can literally hear her stepping from the darkness of the world that prompted her to write such poignant songs as ‘Bleed’ and ‘Feel the Rain’ into the happiness she has now found which pulses through ‘No-one Else’ one of the songs on their new EP ‘Two’. (We were dumbstruck by this sentence. We think the author means Melissa has a pretty good voice and that she concluded "feel good" songs sell more throughout the summer season. But we're not completely sure.)

‘Memories’ sees Keith joining Melissa vocally with this beautiful duet, and again you might be surprised at the quality and depth of Keith’s voice in this tale of misunderstandings in love and a chance to make it happen … (make what happen? misunderstandings in love? because we believe that might actually make quite a good subject for a song ...) Their two voices melting together in harmony.

‘Only Yesterday’ - Global warming, racism, a lack of tolerance and kindness towards each other. “Yesterday we wanted to change the world, but what are we doing today?” What will have become of our world tomorrow.

The last song, ‘Me and You’ is the ultimate summer song. Mel with her partner and Keith with his ukulele (you are in our prayers Keith: musical geniuses all deserve partners slightly more flattering than ukuleles), sitting by the water’s edge strumming, kids laughing, sand between your toes, an ice cold drink in your hand. Do you get the picture? You will be humming this song in your sleep, in the shower, in the car, in the ... (where? where?! All this suspense is killing us. No it isn't. But the pretentiousness of this article has its hand at our throat.)

So you thought you knew what Chasing Pandora were about, well perhaps you’ll have to start all over again !

So let’s start over... (A great ending to a great piece of writing. Thank you, di-ve.)



Melissa Portelli. Keith & Ukulele exchanging loving glances in the background.

Death to the Mongrel! Viva l-Ħażen!

Yes, that's right. The Maltese Mongrel is no more. We have moved to www.hazin.info, hence the new name.

We also have some new writers in our midst. Some will be writing in English, others will be writing in Maltese, making this a bilingual website from now on.

We have some other changes in store for you, but more about this later on. For now, please give a warm welcome to ... ĦAŻIN.info.